And the WINNER is.... (and the LOSER is... ME!)

The winner of my very first giveaway is.......

...Shasta Anne!

And in case you're wondering why it took my five.stinking.days to post this, it's because I'm a big LOSER.

At life.

See, this past weekend we celebrated Joe's 30th Birthday at a vacation house we rented in Sandpoint, Idaho.

Beautiful place on the lake. The company of great friends and family. Confetti birthday cake and a keg of Coors Light. Fresh powder and blue bird skiing at Schweitzer.

... and a very unsanitary hot tub.

Or at least that's what I learned from eMedicine when I researched all the itchy red bumps developing in my bathing suit areas on Monday.

It started looking like this:

A trip to the doctor confirmed a bacterial skin infection caused by Pseudonomas aeruginosa.

Guess where that bacteria hangs out? In dirty hot tubs.... like the one I spent 30 minutes soaking in every night this past weekend after a long day on the slopes.

Basically, dead skin particles fester in poorly treated hot water and it's a breeding ground for nastiness. Lovely, right?

So what do I get to take home from this weekend besides good memories?

That would be the worst case of BACNE (and sidene, and crotchne, and boobne) that you've ever seen:

Don't worry. I won't share with you the images from today. Just trust me. They're a lot worse and pretty disgusting... and I don't want to lose any followers.

Joe was "affected" too. His 5 minute one-night stint in the hot tub left him with this red bump on his armpit:

*tear*

I only took the picture above as evidence that I'm not the only loser with this "hot tub rash" in case I decide to sue these assholes for neglecting to use, oh I dunno, CHLORINE, and the subsequent loss of sanity I have experienced (not to mention the fever, fatigue, days off work, did I mention butt crack sores?).

Not because Joe's armpit bump is a big deal.

In fact, Joe's not allowed to talk his armpit bump.

Or I scream. And lift up my shirt and stamp my feet.

Joe is, however, allowed to feel very sorry for me, and he also is allowed to help apply Emu Blue Gunk to my pimple boobies.

I know, right? What a lucky guy!

Well, I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. If you need me, I'll be sitting on my hands whilst praying for some Xanax to magically appear so I don't claw my skin off. Cheers!