just say no to auto flush

hello from NOLA - or for the abbreviation challenged, that's new orleans.

aaah, brings back memories from a 4 day binger at mardis gras lovely trip in college. but now in my grown up life i'm here for work, specifically slinging locking mailboxes at the ace hardware show for the family business. actually alot more fun than it sounds. anywhoodles...

so the convention center here has these "nifty" auto-flush toilets. oooh snazzy... yeah until i used one a few times today...

the verdict is in: i am decidedly anti auto-flush toilet. 

reason #1: i think they're supposed to save water and all, and don't get me wrong... i'm all about saving the earth... seriously, i am. but heRRo! news flash: they don't save water. think about it... has this happened to you? you sit to potty and then before you're even done it surprise flushes? four times? unnecessary. (kinda like the 3rd "hurricane" last night and the convention center jumbalaya.)

reason #2: auto-flush toilets (especially in new orleans apparently?) are super aggressive. when the toilet decides to prematurely do its thing, you get splashed (SO gross) by dirty toilet water. lesson here? potty time with auto flush toilets includes a fun game of sit - stand to avoid being splashed - sit - repeat. fun times.

reason #3: auto-flush toilets pretty much preclude any opportunities for sexy time in the bathroom. just completely takes all the romance out of it. so distracting also. not that i would know because i'm far too classy for sexy time in public bathroom stalls... but just, hypothetically.. ya know?

conclusion: let me flush the damn toilet when i am good and ready. mmkay? thanks!

oh, and here's an elephant using a toilet, just for fun:

i *heart* elephants. they're so dang smart... surely they say no to auto-flush too.