Funny story actually, though it wasn't really at the time...
Yesterday morning I had a 6:30am flight. Have I shared with y'all how much I am not a morning person? Like, please don't talk to me until I've had my coffee... for your own sake... so we can still be friends.
The 6:30am was the only option to get me to Chicago in time for booth set-up. I backwards count to when I have to wake up...
Must arrive "1 hour" prior to flight to check a bag.. (you can actually push this to 30 minutes, just saying)... must allow 40 minutes for driving to airport (20 minutes presuming no traffic, which I do)... need 15 minutes to wake up, brush teeth, etc. (can push this to 3 minutes if necessary)... you get the idea.
Well, long story short I wake up at a time that starts with a FREAKING 4 and still manage to cut it close to make my flight. Apparently other people - a lot of them, actually - fly at this ungodly hour.
6:00am: I pick the shortest looking security line, but quickly realize I have chosen wrong. My line is like amateur hour at the airport. One lady in front of me literally spends minutes removing her lace-up boots. Who wears lace-up boots to the airport? Actually, who wears lace-up boots, period?
6:07am: There's an influx of flight attendants. Like, 7 of them. Did you know they just get to bypass the whole... waiting in line thing? I am literally next in line to send my carryon through the x-ray when they come, one after another, to place their snazzy little carryons on the conveyor belt... right in front of me.
6:14am: Finally, the last of the flight attendants is through. I'm up! Then TSA lady taps me on the shoulder and tells me I've been selected for the body scan. Yippee! She tells me I will need to wait until my bag has entered the x-ray, though, before I can be "viewed". That's when I see a new influx of flight attendants hurrying to put their carryons in front of mine!
6:15am: The man behind me tells the flight attendants "We've been waiting for quite awhile, if you wouldn't mind just letting us go through really quickly" after which I blurt out "Yeah, I'm going to miss my flight... please, I'll be quick."
Well guess what some snatchface flight attendant says? "Oh honey, you're not going anywhere without us! Planes need flight attendants to fly."
Oh do they now? I thought they needed flight attendants to serve peanuts and soda, thank you for clarifying. I don't say that though. I actually say, "Oh, are you on the 6:30am to Chicago? Didn't think so..." and promptly shove my bag through the x-ray.
Is there just something about airport security that brings out the best in us all? Or maybe it's just me... in the early morning.
6:16am: I am treated to my first full-body scan. The TSA man tells me it's okay to smile. I don't. When I'm finished, he doesn't even say congratulations or nice boobs or anything. Ridiculous.
6:18am: Run to flight. Make it. Barely.
Well, that's pretty much the whole story. It was funnier in my head... sorry about that!
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