We walk in to see all these rugby players dressed up... some in tuxes, others in chaps! We grab one of the auction preview booklets and read up on how it works...
If you "win" the auction, you get "roughly 4 hours of their time"... Some suggestions they give:
- Help moving or yard work
- Designated driver for evening
- "Arm Candy" for an event
- You have no friends
SO I promptly texted Joe:
Me: Babe I'm at the lust and labor party... I'm gonna buy a rugby player :)
Joe: WHAT? NO ur not. I'll be right there...
Me: No baby he's gonna do labor... Remove the raccoons from the roof.. in his undies!!
Joe: Hope he has a job cause he's going to need to help you pay rent
Hmmphff. And I thought that was such a brilliant idea!
We got finagled into buying raffle tickets. $5 for an arm's length!! I must have really long arms because I WON!!!! Not once, not twice, but three times... "a ladyyyyy"
First time up I won a set of 6 wine glasses! SCORE... because Bondi is always breaking 'em when he's had too many. (Joe is always blaming the dog for his stinkies, so I figured.. ehem, well anyway...)
Second time up I won a bottle of wine with a bird on it. Seriously, that's what they called it. Whatevvs, I'll take it :-)
Third time up I'm feeling a little guilty that I keep winning?? Okay, I'm over it. Give me that Jameson shirt!!
Somewhere in the midst of all this, the rugby team auctions off this
Apparently I was not the only person who felt this way, because they couldn't get the bidding above $45. Seriously... way to bruise the anorexic chick's ego.. she's probably not going to eat for a week now!
Ciara promptly disappeared off stage and I went to potty. I sit down to tinkle (damn, and I was so close to another post without mentioning pee/poo) and notice the girl next to me is quite an explosive pee-er (peer?). Like... PSSHH - PSSSSSSH... or maybe she has really bad diarrhea? (Eeew I hate that word). Don't judge me but I peeked under the stall and what did I see?? Oh yes, miss The chick's distinctive heels facing the toilet. She's anorexic AND a puker. Lovely.
The next couple minutes were followed by gagging sounds and more pukeyy noises. She was definitely making herself throw up. How do I know this??
- It was only about 7pm - too early to be drunk and involuntarily puking... on a weeknight anyway
- I went to DUKE. Bulimia is to Duke as Herpes is to ASU. Actually, that's not even accurate... only 1 in 4 peeps have STDs at ASU... the whole eating disorder thing is much more prominent than that at good ol' Duke. No joke. And this is a whole other post, but I digress..
Anywho, I felt a little awkward and debated waiting until she was finished to "confront" her. How would that go? Maybe give her a reference for a psychiatrist? But that didn't play out in my head so well...
She was taking her time in the stall (presumably waiting until I left) so I blurted out "You are wayyy to skinny to be making yourself throw up" and waited a few seconds... *Silence* So I walked out.
Now that I think about it, that didn't come out so right... like, if you weren't so skinny it would be just fine to make yourself puke? And this girl probably thinks she's a lardo. So ipso facto (or ergo facto? whatever...) she definitely can justify it all in her
Next time I think I'll just keep my mouth shut, and my eyes on the
UPDATE: Just to clarify, since some of you asked... Ciara was NOT a rugby player... (DUH!) She was one of the girls they auctioned off as 'lust' not labor..
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omgosh. shut it. you did NOT say that out loud. it sounds like you, my dear, have no filter. which is greatness. that's so sad. i swear baylor is the anorexic/bulemic capital of the usa. my lovely alma mater.
ReplyDeleteway to wine all the raffle prizes! my mister too, blames my poor koda bear for his rip van winkles. i'm like "REALLY? koda is a ventrilaquist tooter? he threw that stinker all the way from where he's sitting into our BED!?! why we DO have quite the talented dog!" right ...
that was supposed to be "way to win" - but since you won wine glasses i guess it fits ...
ReplyDeleteHa! OMG. that sounds like something i would say....lol & how the hell was she a rugby player!??!?! I'm a rugby player (no lie) & that girl should have had one of her peach fuzz covered arms and legs broken in half during the first scum. She for sure has to be a back.
ReplyDeleteI cant believe you said something to her! haha. Too funny. Um, and I didnt even know that hair on the arms was a sign of eating disorders until Andrew told me a year ago! Apparently he had a few gf's in his past with eating disordrs, which makes me think...hmmm...maybe when I came along, he was like "YEY, a nice thick girl who likes to eat, AND keep it down!" haha.
ReplyDeleteMy fave part of the post was this: because Bondi is always breaking 'em when he's had too many. (Joe is always blaming the dog for his stinkies, so I figured.. ehem, well anyway...)
hahahah.
Oh man. That's sad. And gross. And just pathetic all in one! What were they thinking auctioning off a girl with an eating disorder?? I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist! :(
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this post, lol. :)
ReplyDeleteI love that you said that. She sounds so so sad - I can't believe that picture!!
ReplyDeleteThe pic of the guy with the hairy chest and chaps is weird!
ReplyDeletePoor skinny girl...she def needs some meat on her bones.
Congrats on your hat trick win :)
ReplyDeleteSo sad about little Ciara. Sometimes I really can't help myself either, and I just blurt things out. Because I really do care. And for some reason I think that my saying something when I see someone hurting themselves is going to help. And usually it doesn't. But at least I know I tried. I'm proud of you! Sure, it could have been worded differently...but it's like those people who see a man beating the crap out of a woman and just keep walking by. You can't do that.
Oh girl...those text between you and your man sound just like something Dave and I would say. I am loving these pictures! Hope you have a great weekend! xoxo
ReplyDeleteoh my god. Poor people with low self esteem NOT getting bidded on. I think I love myself but if I had to take off my shirt to get bids I would probably regress to 7th grade levels of security. No good can come of that.
ReplyDeletePPsssshhh! Oh.No.You.Diiiiiinnnntt! Ha, I kind of love and hate that you said something to her. What an awkward bathroom moment, huh? I tend to not have a filter either but I have the over eater's disorder so I'd hate for someone to be like "HEY! Just say NO to the extra sour cream, ok fatty?!" Just sayin'! LOL! Actually, my BFF and my husband are really, really thin and they both get comments all of the time. What is funny is that my BFF is completely the healthiest person I know that takes care of herself - eats right, exersizes... blah blah blah so I find it funny when fatties are like "That biotch is skiiinnnay!" However, she is not REX skinny. I didn't know about the hairy arm thing? I'm going to go google that now. And, isn't it probably bulemia that she's suffering from since she's barfing and all? ;) Yuck, I hate to barf. Who would want to do that to themselves? Yikes.
ReplyDeleteI totally LOL'd at the ASU comment... :) And the blaming the dog comment... :)
This seems very rude to write this way about this young woman Ciara..Does she know about this article? You lack tact, sensibility and your vanity is out of control. You refer to her as the 'anorexic chick', make fun of her, and post photos.. I just don't get it.. This is mean stuff!! You should apologize to her and make it up to her somehow..you being super happy about ur blog, bf, dog and life should be even more reason to act compassionately and respectfully.. Come on Seattle girl! Maybe you know Ciara and this is a big joke idk..
ReplyDeleteI would respond, but can't with no email, go figure. i admit its not that funny it's pretty sad actually, but ya know, it is what it is... No i do not 'know' this girl and i hope if she saw this post she might realize how some other people see her and that she does NOT need to be starving herself or making herself throw up because she is VERY thin. of everything you said i think it sucks i come off as vain. don't think anyone IRL would say that of me.. will have to work on that here.
ReplyDelete