We walk in to see all these rugby players dressed up... some in tuxes, others in chaps! We grab one of the auction preview booklets and read up on how it works...
If you "win" the auction, you get "roughly 4 hours of their time"... Some suggestions they give:
- Help moving or yard work
- Designated driver for evening
- "Arm Candy" for an event
- You have no friends
SO I promptly texted Joe:
Me: Babe I'm at the lust and labor party... I'm gonna buy a rugby player :)
Joe: WHAT? NO ur not. I'll be right there...
Me: No baby he's gonna do labor... Remove the raccoons from the roof.. in his undies!!
Joe: Hope he has a job cause he's going to need to help you pay rent
Hmmphff. And I thought that was such a brilliant idea!
We got finagled into buying raffle tickets. $5 for an arm's length!! I must have really long arms because I WON!!!! Not once, not twice, but three times... "a ladyyyyy"
First time up I won a set of 6 wine glasses! SCORE... because Bondi is always breaking 'em when he's had too many. (Joe is always blaming the dog for his stinkies, so I figured.. ehem, well anyway...)
Second time up I won a bottle of wine with a bird on it. Seriously, that's what they called it. Whatevvs, I'll take it :-)
Third time up I'm feeling a little guilty that I keep winning?? Okay, I'm over it. Give me that Jameson shirt!!
Somewhere in the midst of all this, the rugby team auctions off this
Apparently I was not the only person who felt this way, because they couldn't get the bidding above $45. Seriously... way to bruise the anorexic chick's ego.. she's probably not going to eat for a week now!
Ciara promptly disappeared off stage and I went to potty. I sit down to tinkle (damn, and I was so close to another post without mentioning pee/poo) and notice the girl next to me is quite an explosive pee-er (peer?). Like... PSSHH - PSSSSSSH... or maybe she has really bad diarrhea? (Eeew I hate that word). Don't judge me but I peeked under the stall and what did I see?? Oh yes, miss The chick's distinctive heels facing the toilet. She's anorexic AND a puker. Lovely.
The next couple minutes were followed by gagging sounds and more pukeyy noises. She was definitely making herself throw up. How do I know this??
- It was only about 7pm - too early to be drunk and involuntarily puking... on a weeknight anyway
- I went to DUKE. Bulimia is to Duke as Herpes is to ASU. Actually, that's not even accurate... only 1 in 4 peeps have STDs at ASU... the whole eating disorder thing is much more prominent than that at good ol' Duke. No joke. And this is a whole other post, but I digress..
Anywho, I felt a little awkward and debated waiting until she was finished to "confront" her. How would that go? Maybe give her a reference for a psychiatrist? But that didn't play out in my head so well...
She was taking her time in the stall (presumably waiting until I left) so I blurted out "You are wayyy to skinny to be making yourself throw up" and waited a few seconds... *Silence* So I walked out.
Now that I think about it, that didn't come out so right... like, if you weren't so skinny it would be just fine to make yourself puke? And this girl probably thinks she's a lardo. So ipso facto (or ergo facto? whatever...) she definitely can justify it all in her
Next time I think I'll just keep my mouth shut, and my eyes on the
UPDATE: Just to clarify, since some of you asked... Ciara was NOT a rugby player... (DUH!) She was one of the girls they auctioned off as 'lust' not labor..
Posts
