FML

F: FLAT TIRE
I finished my CrossFit workout the other night, all excited to meet a girlfriend for a beer, and discovered this:

Deja vu much? Promptly called the boyfriend, who wasn't too eager to be my knight in shining armor, so I called AAA.

Who needs a boyfriend when you have AAA anyway, right?

Truthfully, my dad would be so ashamed that I did not change my own tire, but I could not for the life of me find the tire iron. It was probably somewhere under the overflowing pile of shit occupying my trunk.

M: MY AILMENTS
On pull-up 79 out of 80 in the above referenced CrossFit WOD, my hand ripped. Just like in the good ol' days of gymnastics.

Now washing my hair stings like a bitch.

Also, my vision. I realized the other night while trying to read the bar menu on a blackboard about 10 feet from me that I'm going blind. I need glasses... badly. This makes me feel really old.

L: (A)LLERGIES
I realize everyone is all on the *I LOVE SPRING* bandwagon. Blah blah blah. I freaking hate Spring.

Can we please just skip to Summer so I can breathe? Or walk outside without lactating from the eyeballs? MMkay? Thanks.

Not to be a Negative Nancy or anything but that's my life right meow.

However, seeing as tomorrow is Friday... (things are looking up?) I'll leave you with this:

Or if sparkle unicorns aren't your thing, there's always these guys:

They're pretty rad too.