i'm a bear.. hear me GaaarrRRR!!

We have plans to go camping/backpacking this Memorial Day weekend. Joe is an avid camper... being from Idaho and all :-)

Or should I say was, since we have only been camping together two times in as many years?

The first time we went with another couple overlooking this algae-infested pond beautiful lake and it rained the whole time.

Oh, and the chick we were with went and took a dump in the woods and came back and put her used TP in the fire. Let's just say no one wanted to cook smores! It was a 'shitty' experience.

Our second backpacking/camping trip - just the two of us - went much better, but it's been almost a year now since we've been.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't like camping trips.

It's just hard to find the time... But we're going this weekend with a group of friends for 3 nights! With 3 dogs (yes, 3 - I'm dog sitting for friend and don't ask how i thought that would be a good idea, but I digress).

One of my friends, a transplant from Cincinnati, is coming along and she has never been camping before, so she is basically making the stockholders of REI very happy "getting ready" for this trip. Yesterday she sent me over her list, which REI conveniently supplied, of everything she "needs" for camping. I tried to assure her that she did not, in fact, need an headnet or flares, but I think she just wants to be prepared :-)

Yesterday was a long day. I was tired,but it was Tuesday so off my lil bro Gabe and I trekked to Sarvey Wildlife like we do every week. I didn't get home until well after 11:00pm and Joe was already dozing off on the couch with a glass of wine. I was too exhausted to be jealous. We got in the shower and I started to tell him about my day. I was laughing about the thought of my friend showing up with a star identification map, an ice-axe and head lamp in tow.

Joe was laughing with me, until I got to the part about the head lamp.

"Uhh... you'll probably gonna be the only one without a head lamp."
"Why would I need a head lamp? I have a flash light!"
"They're just super convenient, you know... for night hikes."

Okay, first of all I DON'T believe I will be the only one without a headlamp. Just saying. But more importantly, why the HELL would we go on a "night hike"? Isn't the whole point of hiking to enjoy your surroundings?

And I don't know about you but I like my ankles - I've liked them for a long time. The way the are, ya know. Not broken.

The only way I'm going to be doing any hiking at night is very quickly if I'm.. ya know.. running from a rapist or a bear or something..

So I told Joe all of the above. I was tired and cranky so I pretty much said it just like that. And then I threw in, ya know... just for good measure:

"YOU can go hiking at night with your precious headlamp. I will be drinking whiskey by the fire. And Homie's staying with me, because Homie doesn't go night hiking EITHER!!!"

Did I mention I love camping?

Anyway, I went to bed for some much needed rest and I slept. Until 6:30am when Joe's iHome awoke me from the most amazing dream ever (so annoying) and Joe barks "Hit the snooze".

See, Joe gets up (and goes to bed) before me, and I like... no I NEED... my morning sleep. It's my best sleep. It's my - if I don't get it you don't want to be around me - sleep.

Now, usually I don't even wake up to Joe's alarm. Usually I'm a pretty heavy sleeper and Joe just reaches over me and presses the damn snooze button himself.

Probably since I was having such an amazing dream God awoke me to punish me for making fun of that girl who pooped her pants in my second grade class.

Anyway, so I pressed the snooze button... and tried to get back to the part where Bondi and I were running off into the sunset to frolic with sparkle unicorns and rainbow butterflies....

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP* 6:37AM

I rolled over and looked at Joe, waiting for him to, oh I dunno, shut the goddamn alarm off.

Mother-pooper's still asleep!!!

Well this morning, Joe snoozed his alarm from 6:30AM until the time he actually got out of bed at some point over an hour later!! And by Joe I mean me because I am the one who actually had to reach over every time and press the damn snooze button. Because Joe was ignoring me!!! Despite the fact that I was screaming and bitching and carrying on (no I'm not proud, just honest) every time the alarm woke me up. 14 times.

I am one of those people who, when upset, needs to be Heard. Validated. Acknowledged. Pacified. All I got was a few annoyed grumbles and that WOULD.NOT.DO.

So I did what any crazed, sleep-deprived, PMSing normal girl would do. I unplugged the alarm and chucked it across the bed at Joe. Oh yes I did. And I said that alarm would be on his side of the bed from now on. "GaarrRRR!!"

So what did Joe do? He calmly plugged the iHome back in... got out of bed and said "You are out of control."

Finally... victory!!! Joe is up and getting ready and I get to go back to bed!!!!

And then do you know what happened? 7 minutes later, like clockwork, the piece of shit went off again.

Tell me is this iHome like super human? I unplugged it!!! Don't you have to reset it or something?

So from bed I gave my best... "GaaarrrRRRRRRR!!!"

Yes, I ROARED.


Speaking of, I am thinking I need to beware of Bears this weekend... something Brick said in Anchorman.