This past weekend, my boy Joe and I took my grandparents out for their xmas present: a trip to the South Pacific at the 5th Avenue Theatre and then Sazerac for dinner.
Background info:
My grandpa is a special sort of 90 something year old. VERY RELIGIOUS. As in, at some point between sane 70 and now, he became a "Catholic" man who:
(1) Believes in a church that does not recognize the Pope.
(2) Participates in a strictly Latin mass that lasts 1+ (painful - I went, once) hours in a church that requires women to wear DOILIES (is that the plural of doily?) on their heads while praying.
(3) Fears that all of his family is going to HELL if they do not convert to this new (or old? not sure) Catholocism. As in, he recently told my parents (his son and DIL) that their son (my lil bro Gabe) was born out of wedlock because their marriage was never valid in the eyes of his church.. or something.
Good times.
Random Thursday insertion: apparently I use parenthesis alot when I'm drunky~~~
Anyway... so we went to the awesome play The South Pacific, and then this awesome restaurant The Sazerac, and while at dinner,
this
TMI
conversation
happened
OLD RELIGOUS GRANDPA looking back and forth between me and Joe: So what kind of relations do two have?
JOE: omg omg omg wtf omg
ME: practiced at interpretating half deaf grandpa, realizes he said "what kind of RELIGOUS VIEWS do you have" because that's obviously ALL he cares about, whether we're going to Hell or not.
Umm RELIGOUS VIEWS.. what RELIGOUS VIEW DO YOU HAVE??
Joe: ""Relations we have?"
Me: "RELIGIOUS VIEWS"
Joe: Oh, cuz I was gonna say, "EVERYTHING BUT ANAL"
JK
Joe didn't actually say that. But afterwards he told me he was thinking about it. And that's TMI. No??
PS I'm somewhat very meh carrghh how do I use this damn thing??? disappointed in the Quality of this blogpost. Wednesday Trivia Night = WARNING! BAD! DANGER! I am "tipsy" as they say..
PPS Update my Grandma is NOT hard of hearing and she heard the whole thing and new exactly what Joe thought grandpa said and read his face and mine and just started cracking up... one of those laughs that had heads turning :-) Love her.








Hilarious! That would be something I would think in my head & hope I could contain & not actually say out loud. :)
ReplyDeleteyou are a hoot. I just cracked up out loud at work. :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Omg! That is awesome!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Oh, if only he'd said it out loud... PRICELESS!
ReplyDeleteThanks for playing :-)
Having a hard of hearing grandfather always helps in these cases!
ReplyDeletehahah. I have Thursday NIght Trivia! So, maybe I will be in your shoes tonight...but I made a policy to stay off the computer after drinking. Sometimes I stick to it! :)
ReplyDeleteThat is funny, and I bet even if Joe said it, your Grampa wouldn't have heard it! I agree with Joe's statement! :)
Ha! That is great!
ReplyDeleteProbably best he didn't say it out loud, but that would have been even more funny!
fabulous in every way. you never let me down.
ReplyDeletehahaha i wish he would have said that!! First time here BTW and I love it!!! New follower!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I wish he had said it!
ReplyDeleteKate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com
I love me some drunky posts :-) This whole thing had me giggling.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh...I seriously almost spit out my food!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! You crack me up! Great post DB :)
ReplyDeletehahahha This is hilarious!!! Thanks for stopping by my blog. If all your posts are as funny as this one, I now have a new obsession.
ReplyDeleteThat is very funny Jenny and I know exactly what you mean about Grandma Marge. I am sure she thought the misunderstanding was absolutely hilarious.
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOSH! I assure you, if I were drinking something while reading this..my laptop screen would be covered with liquid! haha that is TOO funny!
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question on my blog or i guess comment on it. I have personally decided balls are also icky and have no sensible use for men BUT to cause them reasons to bitch. (i.e. my itch, you gave me blue balls, don't laugh...my balls just got stuck to my nut sack. lol GROSS!) I think they should start making boyfriends with the no balls option! lmao
ReplyDeleteSince God supposedly invented everything, including anal, I'm sure your grandparents engage in it frequently.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.