NEED advice for this girl I know...

So there's this girl I know who has been with her boyfriend for almost three years. They've lived together for a couple years, have furbabies together, and talk about a future together. They have a good relationship. There are ups and downs, of course, but at the end of the day, they share common interests and have a strong physical and emotional connection. They love each other.

And then, the other night her boyfriend went to a bachelor party and had too much to drink and apparently let a girl sit on his lap and kissed her (or "she kissed him") not once, not twice, but three times. When he came home that night, she naturally asked him how the evening was. He said it was a blast, describing where they had gone but not really what they had done. He awkwardly mentioned some girls and some flirting. Minutes went by and then she asked him, on a gut instinct, if he kissed any of these girls. He said yes.

That night while still drunk, her boyfriend said the girls were kissing "all the guys" and it "wasn't a big deal" ... but it was a very big deal for her. She felt betrayed by her boyfriend, who she had never imagined was even capable of such transgressions. (I have even heard her say, many times, "He would never cheat on me" and she believed it wholeheartedly.)

And to make matters worse she also felt horribly embarassed, because "all the guys" at this bachelor party were her friends too, and they had witnessed her boyfriend drunk and kissing on/being kissed by some girl that wasn't her.

And then it came out that it wasn't really "all the guys"... it was pretty much just him, and maybe one or two other (single) guys.

When morning came, her boyfriend felt absolutely awful and apologized profusely for his horrible lapse in judgement. He said he was a "real dick" and felt terrible for hurting her. He realized being drunk was no excuse, and couldn't really say why he had let that happen, but only that he wished it hadn't. He promised it would never happen again and was willing to do "whatever it takes" to make it right.

But now, the girlfriend doesn't know if it ever can be right.

One the one hand, she has made similar mistakes in the past - maybe not quite so egregious, but mistakes nevertheless that her boyfriend forgave. He has never done anything like this before... and it was just a kiss. Or three.

On the other hand, she feels hurt, devastated, betrayed, and sick to her stomach every time she thinks about it. How will she ever be able to trust him again?

If you were this girl, what would you do? (If you need any more details to render an opinion, I'm sure I can ask her...)

love this boy

... even though I bitch about laundry, and often aren't as nice to him as he deserves. He is my person, and my favorite. Just a little about Joe (and me), and a few of the reasons why I am so very lucky to have him in my life:

(1)  We met playing softball on our co-ed team "Smack My Pitch Up!" and, well.. the rest is kinda history. I could tell right away Joe was a good person because he was still fun and supportive even when  I  some girls on the team sucked... He was always carrying the cooler, hitting ground balls to everyone, and generally being a good guy.

* team player, in more ways than one *

(2) He let me teach him how to wakeboard. This was arguably our first "date" (depending on what that even means now a'days....) and he was quite a sport! Didn't even act nervous about me driving the boat...

*spontaneous * fun *

(3) Speaking of driving the boat, he is much better at pulling me wakeboarding than anyone else that comes to mind, and he has skillz, meaning I totally trust he will not run me over and take off a limb. PLUS he looks sexy in a life jacket!! Not an easy feat....

* can handle 350 HP. GRRRrrr *

(4) He is not embarassed when I feel the urge to rock a side ponytail. Very important.

* appreciation of dorky *

(5) If I was lost in the wilderness, I would want Joe around. Not only for the obvious companionship reasons, but also he's quite handy with the whole fire-making, shelter-building, knife-wielding sort of stuff...

* can build a fire *

* resourceful *

(6) Love me, love my dog. And he loves Mr. Bondi.. so much that he would take him out in the middle of the night when there was a foot of snow on the ground when Bondi was sick. That may have been more love for me (and un-love for cranky morning Jenny who hasn't had enough sleep) but regardless.. this one is definitely on my list!

* excellent big spoon, with bondi and me *

(7) Joe is sweet and thoughtful. He likes it when I get "dressed up" and never forgets to tell me so... in orther words... he's a good at giving compliments!!! And PS- it's so easy to take that for granted unless you've been with someone who doesn't do that, and it REALLY sucks. Well, that is not a problem my amazing boyfriend has. SweetHeart. Oh, and I think we clean up well together :-)

* can "vegas" with me - muy importante *

* will wear a suit just so i don't feel over dressed *

Mmmmm.... now I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

That is certainly not all.. but I also certainly need to get some work shit done. Like right meow...

Just thought I'd let y'all know how lucky I am :-)

you win some, you lose some

I recently got a VPN from my laptop at home to my desktop at work, which is pretty awesome because it means sometimes I can work from home!!

Working from home = HUGE PLUS because:

(1) I get to skip the whole.. sitting in gridlock traffic thing that is so lovely in Seattle... member my rap about it?
(2) Excluding the usual gmail, facebook, blogger, etc. there are No distractions, so I actually get much more accomplished.
(3) I can catch up on laundry while I'm working.

While we're on the topic of laundry, today I had a a miniature laundry breakdown. I hate laundry. It freaking NEVER ENDS...

Lucky for me, laundry is my responsibility... because Joe is "scared" to do laundry. I have no idea why that would be. It surely has nothing to do with the fact that I might have freaked out a teensy weensy bit after the 11th time he WASHED my dryclean only and DRYED my lacey undies and bathing suits.. surely that cannot be the reason. I mean, we had several lessons on what can and cannot be washed/dryed, but apparently I have instilled the Fear of God in him and he will.not.touch.laundry less he be subjected to the "Wrath of Jenny". His words.

In all fairness, he does dishes. But I would SOOooo rather let him deal with the whole 'cleaning' thing do dishes.

Anyway, relationships are all about compromise and what have you. That's what they say... so I do the laundry. Here's what I accomplished today... these are clean, btw:

Somewhere under this massive pile is actually a basket. It's a-freakin-lot, right??? I mean, seriously. How is this even possible???

Well I'll tell you why: Mister boyfriend goes through about 12 lbs of clothes a day! Yes, that's right. NONE of those clothes are mine. They're ALL Joe's. Seriously.

Here's Joe's day with clothes:

Wake up and throw PJs on floor... unless they were already on the floor ;-) Regardless, they end up on the floor.

Get dressed for work... that involves at least 4 items of clothing, more if its a "professional attire" day.

Get home from work and change into comfy clothes.

Add gym clothes if it's a work-out day.

Shower and throw towel on floor (actually truth be told Joe's towels usually make it in the 'laundry' wherever that is, and mine end up on the floor, but heyyy at least I usually reuse 'em).

Change into comfy clothes (*not the same* as before post-work, pre-shower comfy clothes) which may or may not end up on the floor by the morning....

This is totally.out.of.hand!!!

So I kindly sent Mr. Joe a few text messages just now:

"If u don't stop throwing everything u wear ONE TIME in the laundry I'm going to kill you."

"I know where you sleep."

"Unless you sweat/poop/pee/make sexy time in it, it is NOT dirty. Unless it touches your balls, then it can be washed."

"Blood, blood counts too..."

I thought this was short and sweet! But no response....

UPDATE: Joe just got home from work. He's wearing sweatpants, sneakers and his button-down work shirt. This is actually a cute look, btw :-) He said he was going to the gym tonight but the dress shirt threw me off, so I asked what the deal was. He said he was trying to "save" his shirt from wrinkles.

Good boy...I guess I DID make my point!!!

However, he wouldn't let me take a picture. Oh well, you win some.. you lose some...  :-)