someone has been playing with...

Did you think I DIED?

Well, I really almost did. But I'll save that for my next blog post.

Just popping in to remind everyone at this special time of year that if your relatives are bat-shit crazy, you're not alone.

Background: Last year my immediate family all pitched in to give my wonderful Grandma an i-Pad! We set her up with a Gmail account, and even her own Facebook page!

She still doesn't really get the whole "internets" so everytime we visit we make a point of breaking out the iPad and going through the basics.

Rewind to Thanksgiving... my sister and I decide to show grandma Margie YouTube. You can imagine our surprise when YouTube greeted us with a recent browsing history filled with tits, vajayjays, big weeners and the like. Evidently, someone had been using Margie's iPad to Choke the Chicken.

There's no shortage of suspected [monkey] spankers in the family, as the men in the family take turns staying at the house once a week to give the in-home nurse a day off. But, thanks to a couple of surgical procedures viewed within a few minutes of some rendition of Debbie Does Dallas, we're pretty sure the culprit is our cousin, soon-to-be medical doctor, who was unable to make it...

Honestly, I think porn is kindove gross, but I realize a lot of men are into it. Whatever. But using your grandmother's iPad in your grandparents' house to do your business is just fucking wrong.

So I sent my cousin a message that said:

Someone has been looking at a lot of youtube porn on marge's ipad. Quite the shocker when we went in for the Thanksgiving youtube demo. Anyway, whatever.. but AT LEAST have the decency to clear your browsing history! Happy thanksgiving.

His response:

Hey Cuz. LOL that you thought it was me. Probably one of your uncles. 

Unconvinced, I responded:

I really don't care who it was... Just super awkward for us. Marge basically thinks that's what the internets for now.

And then I get back:

Lol. That IS what the internet is for cuz!

BLEH!!!!

Please stop calling me "cuz" ...
Can we just pretend we're not related? LOL.
[who says that?]

Gee, I can't wait for Christmas!

better late than never.

OK. Here is a review of my last three weeks (yes - I know this is ridiculous) that I haven't yet blogged about.. but (mostly) in pictures. Minus the crazy airplane lady story... which I WILL DO SOON. Really, I will.

Anyway, without further ado.... in chronological order, dating back to before Thanksgiving!!!

Weekly Wednesday Trivia... we have yet to win, but damn... we have a good time!

Thanksgiving at my folks house. Joe and my orphaned friend Zach came, and my mom cooked for 21 people!!!!

Pre-Thanksgiving chaos (aka when the rest of the fam showed up)

Joe and I enjoying some red wine...

My aunt Terry (left) and my mom (right) shared the chef duties...

You know they say about too many cooks in the kitchen!!!

My amazing grandparents Leo and Marge.

I know it's weird, but that's what we've always called them.

... Not grandpa, grandma, or anything like that...

Just sister Kenzie drinkin some white wine in the sink.

Totally normal at our house :-)

After the extended family leaves...
Thanksgiving turns into Karaoke Jam Fest 2000.

Here's Joe and Zach looking for songs/singing along.

Thanksgiving Weekend... it's Off to Idaho!!! Joe's folks live in Couer d'Alene, Idaho so we drive out there often for some pretty wonderful weekends. 

 

Joe's folks and us at a local bar for a "night cap" as it's called.

Bondi and me in the cabin of Joe's folks' fishing boat.

Yes, Bondi comes with us!! 

We went on a cruise on the lake.

Here's some of the Christmas lights we saw..

..my camera doesn't do them justice!!

Trade Show for Sutherlands in Kansas City... my mom and I went to sell some bad-ass mailboxes :-)

Here's our Mail Boss display in "Pallet Alley"

BTW Kansas City is cold and windy. BRRrrr!!!

My Birthday Party at the Tulalip Casino!!! ...or as Joe calls it, "Vegas's home-schooled half-sister that's living with creepy uncle in the woods of North Seattle." We rented out two totally posh (shocking- I know!) rooms at the Tulalip Resort, stocked them with adult beverages, invited some close friends, and had a grand ol' time!!!! BTW they have an amazing pool that we definitely took advantage of... and although there are no pics to prove it (no cameras at the tables- duh!) we definitely gambled our little booties off!!! I won't say how much I did or did not win...

Jen and I... a little pre-game action in the hotel room.

Stay classy!! Oh yes, we will :-)

...and thanks to Joe for being so resourceful with this...

Apples to Apples. 'nuff said.

We had a pool party, oh yes we did!

We also had a hot-tub party. 

Lil' awkward thanks to all the irresponsible parents lil' kids 

overhearing and witnessing inappropriate stuff... 

...and probably peeing too!!! Anywayyy...

Sister Kenzie tells Joe she loves him (for me) 
over poolside Apples to Apples :-)

Late (like 4PM!!!) Checkout = AWESOME!

This meant Mimosas, CatchPhrase & the Hawks game...
...plus more time to Gamble!! 

Yes.. I am wearing BOXERS with cards and dice on them.

Yes.. I wore them in the casino, with UGGs & my bday hat.

Nobody even gave me a second look :-)

Anyway... this pretty much brings y'all up to this weekend... which I will try to post about before Christmas!!