fun at subway in arlington

Just poppin' in for a quick story time, then it's back to work counting down the minutes to seafair and refreshing weather.com every 12 minutes imploring the weekend forecast to improve. What's seafair? only the most amazing time of the year in Seattle... better than christmas! More on that later.

About last night.

So my lil bro Gabe and I were on our way back from sarvey after 5 hours of fun times with wild animals. I managed to make it out of there with only a little raccoon shit in my hair, so it was a good night.

We pulled up to Subway for dinner at 9:58 pm, just two minutes before they closed. We still had a good hour long drive ahead of us. Gabe and I wait patiently to order our subs while, likely reeking of God knows what... but then (I kid you not) the large man in front of us orders his sub: white bread, cheddar cheese, olives, ranch dressing and 3 chocolate chip cookies IN THE SUB. *Don't think that's what Jared had in mind... just saying*

The kids behind the counter were struggling to keep it together, as were we. ... Strangely this made me feel a little bit better about our smell :-)

Anyway, we get our sandwiches and while Gabe's paying - his treat! - I head out to the car... only to discover *SHITSKITTLES* the doors are locked. With my keys (cell phone, money, ID, etc. etc.) in the car.

I never lock my car door. In fact, as I type this my car is sitting outside unlocked with the keys inside of it. Call me stupid, but unless I'm in the city or a sketchy part of town, I don't lock the door. Definitely not for a 5 minute stop at Subway.

Well, Gabe felt pretty bad. Yes, my 14 year old brother locked me (us) out of the car over an hour from home... past my bedtime... in Arlington. You may have heard of Arlington as I'm pretty sure it was in the news recently when a man suffered fatal injuries after having sex with (being penetrated by) a horse. Yes, this confuses me too.

Anyway, Subway Boy said he might have a SlimJim to get my car open. When I think SlimJim, I think:

Apparently, a "slimjim" is actual a tool that criminals use to break in to cars. Why Subway Boy had one... well, I didn't ask.

I told him to give it a go, but he clearly didn't have much practice with it - good boy - so I called AAA. And by I, I mean Gabe, because I did not have my trusty BB with me (for shame!) and I am about as useful a chocolate teapot with his alien music touch phone thinger.

They tell me it's going to be an hour, so I tell them I am going to cry. Seriously. I said that...

I said, I'm going to cry if it takes an hour because I have nothing but a t-shirt on (I forgot to mention pants - oops!) and it is cold out and we're hours from home and there's nowhere to go...

A little exaggeration never hurt anyone....

So, AAA calls back to tell me they have a closer company who'll be here in 10. I Win!!!

Less than five minutes later, a tow-truck rolls up and Mountain Man, with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, jumps out and immediately gets to work on the car. No hi, how are you, who are you. Nada. Mountain Man finishes the job before his cigarette (and strangely I never saw him remove it from his mouth to exhale the entire time... this must be a finely developed skill... quite impressive).

And we're off.

But not before Subway Boy tells me, "Be sure to come back next week, it was great to meet you."

Well, I guess if things with Joe don't work out, I know I have options!

wish i could give all my moola to sarvey!

Disclaimer: If you don't like wild animals or are a fan of Sarah Palin, you probably won't like this post. Actually, you probably won't like me either. Just saying...

I haven't played in a long while, but this week Miss Kelsey my amazing IRL friend who does her thing over at The Seattle Smiths used *my* idea for Wishful Wednesday.. so even though I'm a day late and a dollar short, here goes:

 

"I Wish" I had never ending funds 
to donate to Sarvey Wildlife

Sarvey Wildlife is a wildlife rehabilitation center that takes in injured or orphaned wildlife - from starlings to black bears and everything in between - and cares for them in hopes of ultimately being able to release them back into the wild. It is a small non-profit run exclusively on donations and the hard work of volunteers.

All images from www.sarveywildlife.org

I first learned about Sarvey when I was around 10 years old. My family was in a park when a baby Grey-Horned Owl fell out of a tree. It was going to be attacked by dogs so since it clearly couldn't fly, my mom grabbed a towel and scooped it up. Shortly thereafter the mama owl swooped down and put her talons in my mom's back so needless to say we hurried to the car with the big fluffy basketball baby owl. After several phone calls we made our way 90 minutes north to bring the baby to Sarvey. It was spring time and they were so slammed when we got there, a lady begged us all to help with the babies. What did they have us doing, you ask? Oh, just bottle feeding and "pottying" baby raccoons... a never ending supply of baby raccoons. We later learned the baby owl was released several months later in the same park, and well.. that was the beginning.

When I was in highschool I did my senior project up there, working full time as a volunteer "intern" for a month. Sarvey is a very special kind of place where, in just a few hours, you may be cleaning crow shit from a cage one minute, and hiding food for a bobcat the next. One of my most memorable experiences there happened late one night when it was just Sarvey's founder the late Kaye Baxter and me in the clinic. She was hurriedly working to hydrate and remove bullet fragments from a gorgeous golden eagle that had been shot (who does that?) when a baby deer came in that had been hit by a car. It had a huge gash on its head. The golden eagle obviously took priority, but Kaye told me to fix up the deer... Say Whaa?? I didn't even know where to start! Kaye was very calm (or totally out of her rocker!) and told me it was just like sewing a hem. Well nevermind that I didn't (don't) know how to do that either... I gave it my best effort. It was probably the best sewing I've ever done :-) I don't think that baby deer lived, but in that moment I was so... alive! Anywhooo...

Nowadays I don't have much money, but I still make time to go up to Sarvey to volunteer. Last year my brother turned 13 and started bugging me to bring him. The age minimum is 14 but we fudged a little bit on the volunteer form and now brother and I go up pretty much every week!!! He keeps me company on the long drive and is becoming quite the little caretaker! I love spending time with him working up there, and we have had some amazing, some hilarious, and some not so funny experiences.

• Towel drying river otter pups... they are just like puppies, and you haven't lived until you have seen what otter pups do with a towel!!!
• Surprises when "pottying" baby raccoons. I will just say this: PROJECTILE.
• The time I held the hawk while Gabe tube fed it and somehow the food missed the hawk's throat and went directly into my eyeball.... Not fun.
• Chasing the escape artist squirrels all over the clinic.... It's a fun little game!
• Sneaking a peak at the "off limits" black bear cubs... they couldn't see us, so it was ok :-)
• Chopping up frozen rats... not pleasant!
• Bottle feeding wobbly baby deer... precious!

Gabe and a *fat* river otter pup after bathtime

Gabe's first time 'catching' a bald eagle for meds

So if I am MIA from blogging Wednesday evenings, it's because I'm probably being pooped on by a baby raccoon, sorting through frozen rats to feed the raptors, or maybe stitching up a deer's head!

Disclaimer: They are much more professional now than a decade ago, and they would never just be like.. go sew that deer. But truly, it happened!!

If you can't tell, I'm a major animal lover... and like I said I don't have much money, but I do donate (not my time but my beer fund) to a few other awesome charities as well:

Conservation International
World Wildlife Fund
National Resources Defense Council
American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

and my favorite...

Defenders of Wildlife
because Sarah Palin and her aerial wolf hunting can go to Hell makes me want to vomit.

The only downside of these $10 here $20 there donations? They put you on massive mailing lists and now I get junk mail from every NPO from here to Timbuktu... and address labels. I have a lot of address labels :-)

rainbow parties??

So 13 year old brother comes home the other night and tells my mom all the cool kids are having "rainbow parties" and he's not invited.

How this kid is not "cool" I have no idea:

8th graders are like pirhannas, or termites, or some vicious grotesque cannibalistic animals... that's for certain. I can't believe some of the shit they post on FB.. but I'm getting off track. Back to "rainbow parties"

What are they? Oh, please... let me explain.

A rainbow party is when several "cool" girls where lipstick according to the colors of the rainbow: We're talking ROY-G-BIV lipstick. Then.. they give the appointed "cool" guy a rainbow on his PENIS!!!!

SERIOUSLY???

First of all, WTF??? What is wrong with children today? And yes, I consider 13 year old children.

Secondly, logistically speaking I'm stumped. We're talking a 13 year old boy here. How is his penis even large enough to accomodate the ROY-G-BIV rainbow??

Thirdly, THANK GOD my brother isn't a "cool" kid.

And when I have kids, I'll be certain to warn them of these rainbow parties.

Scratch that. If they're girls they'll be under lock-and-key. Save that girl on girl stuff for college, thank you very much.

And nobody looks good in green lipstick.

oh, brother.

Well, heRRo!!

Bloggy world, meet my family. Minus my sister. Plus Joe.

Please excuse my holey dress.. I really don't know what I was thinking. Anywayy, on the right is my awesome little brother. Officially a teenager now, but still cool. It's amazing.

SIDENOTE: There are 12 years between my sister and I, and my lil bro. People tend to ask if he was a "mistake". Nope, negativo. Apparently my sister and I were.. but Gabe.. he was planned. In fact, I distinctly remember my mom giving my dad her IUD in a ring box for Christmas one year. Special :-) But I digress...

So Gabe's a cool kid. My sister and I take full some responsibility for this (mom- if you're reading.. I kid!) because, well, what 13 year old doesn't like to hang out with his awesome older sisters?

And so I try to "hang out" with Gabe as often as possible.. and in the winter that often means heading to the slopes.

Well, it's officially winter now. We have a season passes to Snoqualmie/Alpental - a pretty decent mountain about an hour from Seattle - and have yet to go. Shame on me!

I kinda sorta planted this seed in my brother's head that I was going to take him up night skiing slash snowboarding with Joe and I this week, and it kinda sorta hasn't happened yet. And it's Thursday.

Monday - 7" of new snow but Joe and I were exhausted from the holiday weekend. Gabe, not so much. But what are ya gonna do?
Tuesday - it rained. Me no likey rain.
Wednesday - more rain. 'Nuff said.

Today... brother texts me.

"Is today snowboarding"
"Sure if you want. Currently 21* and hard ice pack. Better than rain."
"Do you want to or are u being sarcastic"
(Brother apparently knows me well, or else 13 year olds 'get' sarcasm)
"No I'm not being sarcastic, icy is excellent! Better than rain anyway. I just wish it would freakin snow already haha"
"Alright :-) ill go if u want"
(Don't twist his arm, right?)
"Okayy then joe and I will leave when he gets off work at 5... pick u up @545 and be up there by 630 or so. It'll be cold so remember dress warm"
(Brother checks weather report - see below - online)
"K but also sunburning conditions!!"
"WTF Gabe... nightskiing. Really??"

Oh, brother!!

Too harsh? :-) Anywayyyy... so I guess we're going skiing, or I should say.. slip slidin' away.. tonight.

Looking forward to it. Seriously. No, really. I am.