Like I said, I have a new found respect for all of you ladies who have planned your own weddings. Invites, guest list, caterer, tents, heaters, food prep, bar prep, balloons, band, bartenders, kegs, decorations, cake, entertainment... it was almost more than this girl can handle!
Just about now, I can finally relax and share the sparkle unicorn awesomeness of the celebration with y'all.
Well I have to say, it went off without a hitch... unless you count the creepy old neighbor who wouldn't stop talking about his "little pecker" and his ex-wife's "stinky pu$$y" in front of my 5th grade teacher (so embarrassing) and me. But I digress...
One of the very last things I arranged for the party was the birthday cake. I did not want it to be BORING, but I was struggling with ideas.
If I lived in New York I would've just called on Miss Summer to come up with something, since *super awesome* is like standard for her cakes. A girl can dream...
So I thought of the Erotic Bakery in Seattle... you know the type of place where bridesmaids and bachelors galore flock to procure tasty desserts flaunting boobies and penises (penii?). However, call me crazy but I didn't think their "big black cock" special would be appropriate for the fifty plus crowd.
When I ran the erotic bakery idea by my dad, he agreed. "Not kosher". But he thought maybe they could do something else funny. Of course he was mum when it came to actually helping in that department.
So I got to brainstorming... and I thought about my mom and her squirrels:
And then I remembered a funny picture I had seen awhile back online:
And then it came to me!!!! A squirrel with NUTS!
Not too tacky... not like a porn-star penis or an old lady vagina... but a cartoon squirrel with large testicles.
I have to say, the girls at the erotic bakery were amazing. They knew just want I wanted. Well pretty much. They didn't know if I wanted a penis on the squirrel... probably because I was unable to answer that question. I hemmed and hawed over this dilemma for a good three minutes.
Penis? No penis? Penis? No penis?
Finally settled on a little penis. Good compromise.
Feeling pretty confident about my decision, I called up my dad and reported to him on the details of the cake. He was not happy, so I had to call up the girls at the shop and instruct them to ix-nay the penis-ay on the squirrel.
She says, "Roger that. No penis. Just large balls."
Well, here is the lovechild of my brain nuggets:
Amazing, no?
Funny story... my mom definitely asked where the penis was. Go figure!
The rest of the party was pretty fabulous also... I mean, besides the cake. My good buddy Jesse was working magic behind a full open bar, and thanks to the fabulous finger foods by Lynn's Bistro, almost everyone was able to keep it together, dancing to the Beatniks and singing karaoke until the early morning hours.
I mean, for a bunch of old fogies, I think my folks and co know how to party!
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