earplugs please!

I was watching TV the other night when a Jergens Commercial came on. I thought it was for shampoo but apparently they only make lotion, so obviously the commercial wasn't very effective. I wonder why...? Oh yes!! I was so distracted by the fact that the spokes-model used the word moist about eighteen times.

 *** Thanks to DSS for emailing me this image.***

*** Really, thanks. It made me want to vomit my day. ***

My hair is so moist... my skin is so moist... I love being moist... 

AAAAaaaahhh... EARPLUGS!!!

I HATE the word "moist". It makes the hair on the back of the neck stand up. I shudder even typing it!

Moist is to the English language as Nickelback is to Rock Music.

Like that analogy? No? OK...

Moist is to the English language as cats are to the animal kingdom.
Moist is to the English language as  ice dancing is to the Olympics.
Moist is to the English language as Lilly Pulitzer is to fashion.

Hmm.. okay.. that last one doesn't really "work" so well.. but thought I'd throw it in there.

I would appreciate it if we could just remove this word from the Dictionary (along with queef and pimple.) And also, please fire the Marketing Director at Jergens. Immediately.

K? Thanks.

does anyone read friday posts??

...because my thought is whenever I hit "publish" on a Friday, approximately three people will read it, including my mom. I forgive you, though, if this gets the "Mark as Read" - just sayin...

Anywayyy, I am NOT a morning person. Especially when I find gray hairs. Like this morning. TWO.

Tweezers please!!!

Do you ever run into people in the morning who are all chipper and perky and just feel annoyed?? Well I do, pretty much anytime I encounter one of these so-called "morning peeople" until 11:30am or so...

For example, this morning - after finding said gray hairs - Bondi and I are headed to the car when Miss Apartment Manager (M.A.M) uber-excitedly intercepts us in the foyer. Seriously, she must have had about 12 cups of coffee with happy pills.

M.A.M.: OOoohh, it's KLONDIKE!!!  His coat is soooooo gorgeous!!
Actually his name is Bondi. Whatever.
ME: Grumble.grumble.
M.A.M.: What do you feed him to make him so shiiiiiineeeyyy????
BTDub, at this point she is squealing. And ba-geezus, do you really want me to go into this??
ME: Dog food.

Actually, that's a lie. I just WANTED to say dog food. I actually mumbled a quick response and walked out the door mid-sentence calling "Have a nice day!" as an afterthought. **PHEW**

Anywayyy, it is Friday night and I am at home with Shiraz (yup, that's code for Yellow Tail :-) doing this while Mr. Joe is having "boy time". He just texted me to say he's coming home and I said 'Don't worry about it, I'm blogging' and you know what my silly Blackberry Bold on T-Mobile did?? It CHANGED "blogging" to "logging". The nerve!!!

Seriously? What decade are we in? Do people really use the gerund (oh, yes i did say gerund!) "logging" more than "blogging"? Why thank you, Blackberry, you're so much smarter than me!!!

*WTF* How is "blogging" not in the dictionary of a mobile phone in 2010? C'mon Blackberrry/T-Mobile. Get it together. Be professional.

PS: There are a shit-ton of other words the BB always changes on me while texting, but they're escaping me right meow. Must be el vino :-) Does this happen to you?

Bring on hump day...

... because I'm ready for this week today to be over.

Our Subaru has been having a rough time lately.. to the tune of, oh, a bajillion dollars $2,000+ in repairs rough in the last few months.

Rewind to Sunday while I'm being all independent and what have you, driving to get some space "run some errands" and all of the sudden there is smoke coming out of the hood. Lovely...

So I pop the hood, because, clearly, I.CAN.HANDLE.THIS.

What to do? Of course... check the oil!!! I pull the little oil dipper doo-dad out, wipe it off, stick it back in. Hmmm... There's oil in the car. Now what?? I was not going to call Joe just yet, cause I.CAN.TOTALLY.HANDLE.THIS. but SHIT... dad's on business in China... don't know country code or need a $78 international calling charge.

Next man on the list: My Uncle Jack. He tells me to check for anything that could get lodged in the engine that may cause it to smoke, and I find a piece of cardboard (which I later learn Joe uses as a funnel and stores on the side of the engine intentionally, go figure) and determine this must be the cause of the problem.

Remove cardboard. Restart car. DAMN. Still smoking... and lovely, there's green stuff coming out of the hood. This, apparently, is antifreeze. Good times. (Sidenote: antifreeze is very tasty and incredibly poisonous to, as in sure fire way to kill, dogs).

At this point I call Joe. HANDLING THIS: FAIL.

Long story short, the radiator was cracked which I have learned causes the antifreeze to leak, the car to overheat, and can do all sorts of bad stuff. So there goes another $500. Yippee!!

Oh, and the car was supposed to be fixed this morning but it wasn't so I had to reschedule my dentist appointment that I urgently scheduled yesterday because I keep having dreams about my teeth falling out and this one tooth is killing me and I'm SURE I have a cavity but when I went in this afternoon I just found out it's just phantom pain (whatever that is?) which is good, I guess, except now I'm pretty sure my dentist who I've seen since I was 3 thinks I'm crazy because I told him about my recurring teeth dreams... and *breathe* aaahhhh.... was that sentence long enough?

So I decide to go to CrossFit to blow off some steam. Good plan. Except I get there and realize I have no sports bra. Whatever, I'm gonna do this anywayy...

And then I learn the WOD (workout of the day) is "Annie on the Run" - translation: a VERY bad day to forget your sports bra. This workout involves a lot of double unders (yup-Jump Rope, lovely) and a lot of running. I hope it was entertaining for all the men.

Oh, and one more CrossFit woe, because I haven't complained enough in this post. Back in December I did a benchmark WOD that was freakin brutal. I think it's called "Fran" or "Angie" or I dunno, but regardless it is:

• 100 pullups
• 100 pushups
• 100 situps
• 100 squats

Afterwards I was literally so sore that I COULD NOT straighten my arms for days. One night, I was using those hand-warmers some people use while skiing to try and relax my biceps, and I fell asleep with one on my arm.

Well, it slipped from my bicep down to my forearm and I woke up with freakin' 2nd degree burns on my arm... seriously!! I had 4 blisters that oozed and hurt like hell and were just plain nasty. And worst of all, they were in the shape of a freakin' PENIS!!!!

I did the whole neosporin - don't touch - don't pick thing for weeks. I'm kinda OCD about picking but I SWEAR I was really good about it because I DID NOT WANT A PENIS SCAR.

But alas, it was meant to be. Today in the elevator, I looked down at my forearm and have come to terms with my Angie-Induced CrossFit Penis Scar:

 

Okayy it doesn't really look like a penis anymore, but it used to!!!

Now it just slightly resembles a long skinny curved one with very small testicles. Or it looks like I cut myself. Not sure which is better... thoughts?? 

So how was your day?

8===D

PS-that could totally be a new smiley face!

another year older

I apologize for the major blogging hiatus, but I have been seriously busy!

Last Thursday there was Thanksgiving with family and friends, and then on Friday Joe and I rushed off (quite literally, I got a $175 speeding ticket on the way-boo!) to spend an amazing weekend with his family in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. (Pictures to come!)

No sooner had I unpacked from Idaho (okay - who am I kidding? I still haven't really done that yet!) then I had to leave bright and early Monday morning for Kansas City for a tradeshow for work. I got home late Wednesday night and spent the evening catching up on blogs...
...and yesterday was my 26^th Birthday!!!


The day started as any other day. I didn't feel any older... that is, until I noticed four little gray hairs on my head!! Fabulous. Where are the tweezers??? Yup, I plucked 'em out. I realize I can't go on doing this forever, but I have never dyed my hair before, and I would really NOT like to start now.

When I got home from work, Joe had a few lovely presents waiting for me. It was quite clear he had wrapped them himself :-) The wrapping gets an "A" for effort.

Side note: I always feel so awkward opening presents - is this just me?

Anyway, Joe got me this amazing Helly Hansen Baxter Bomber Hat:

image source.

alternate view. HOT BOY.

image source.

What a sweet boyfriend... to replace my favorite "Idaho Hat" I traded for a veggie dog... remember?

I have to say, this new one is much nicer than my $4.95 Value Village steal!

I also got some sexy Victoria's Secret shtuff... but umm, no pics for ya! I'm thinking I'm going to be getting Joe some sexy Victoria's Secret stuff for his birthday... since that makes more sense to me ;-) JK... sorta.

After presents time, we were off to The Pink Door, a cozy gem in Pike Place Market's Post Alley. We had 8:30 reservations, but weren't worried when we arrived around 8:40, since there were still at least three open tables in this quaint dining room:

 

The annoying hostess - she was actually annoying to me before she even spoke (I feel this way sometimes) - tried to seat us in the loud and crowded lounge, where we wouldn't have been able to have any semblance of conversation. We asked why we couldn't sit in the dining area and annoying hostess said they had only 2 servers with 8 tables each (never mind there fact there's no way there are 16 tables in the tiny dining area).

Say whaaat?? This is a 4* restaurant. Maybe you should hire another server?? Then annoying hostess told us if we had been there at 8:30 she could have seated us in the dining area, but because we were late we'd have to sit in the lounge. My "you're a dumb ass" alert went off... because I'm pretty sure if we had gotten there ten minutes earlier, we'd still be having dinner with one of the servers that apparently was too busy for another table at 8:40. Whatever.

Joe is such a problem solver, though. He suggested we get a glass of wine across the street and come back at 9:15 when some of the tables had cleared out. Annoying hostess said, fine.. great.

Except... when we came back at 9:15, annoying hostess said in such a non-sincere apologetic voice "Sorryyyy... our dining room is closed. We're doing renovations tonight so you'll have to eat in the lounge." WTF. No thanks.

So we left and went to one of our favorite local spots, Cutters Bay House:

 

image source.

We had lovely food, drinks and conversation. Then we went home and watched Private Practice (one of my favs!) and that was that.

Now I'm 26. With gray hairs.