i'm a bear.. hear me GaaarrRRR!!

We have plans to go camping/backpacking this Memorial Day weekend. Joe is an avid camper... being from Idaho and all :-)

Or should I say was, since we have only been camping together two times in as many years?

The first time we went with another couple overlooking this algae-infested pond beautiful lake and it rained the whole time.

Oh, and the chick we were with went and took a dump in the woods and came back and put her used TP in the fire. Let's just say no one wanted to cook smores! It was a 'shitty' experience.

Our second backpacking/camping trip - just the two of us - went much better, but it's been almost a year now since we've been.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't like camping trips.

It's just hard to find the time... But we're going this weekend with a group of friends for 3 nights! With 3 dogs (yes, 3 - I'm dog sitting for friend and don't ask how i thought that would be a good idea, but I digress).

One of my friends, a transplant from Cincinnati, is coming along and she has never been camping before, so she is basically making the stockholders of REI very happy "getting ready" for this trip. Yesterday she sent me over her list, which REI conveniently supplied, of everything she "needs" for camping. I tried to assure her that she did not, in fact, need an headnet or flares, but I think she just wants to be prepared :-)

Yesterday was a long day. I was tired,but it was Tuesday so off my lil bro Gabe and I trekked to Sarvey Wildlife like we do every week. I didn't get home until well after 11:00pm and Joe was already dozing off on the couch with a glass of wine. I was too exhausted to be jealous. We got in the shower and I started to tell him about my day. I was laughing about the thought of my friend showing up with a star identification map, an ice-axe and head lamp in tow.

Joe was laughing with me, until I got to the part about the head lamp.

"Uhh... you'll probably gonna be the only one without a head lamp."
"Why would I need a head lamp? I have a flash light!"
"They're just super convenient, you know... for night hikes."

Okay, first of all I DON'T believe I will be the only one without a headlamp. Just saying. But more importantly, why the HELL would we go on a "night hike"? Isn't the whole point of hiking to enjoy your surroundings?

And I don't know about you but I like my ankles - I've liked them for a long time. The way the are, ya know. Not broken.

The only way I'm going to be doing any hiking at night is very quickly if I'm.. ya know.. running from a rapist or a bear or something..

So I told Joe all of the above. I was tired and cranky so I pretty much said it just like that. And then I threw in, ya know... just for good measure:

"YOU can go hiking at night with your precious headlamp. I will be drinking whiskey by the fire. And Homie's staying with me, because Homie doesn't go night hiking EITHER!!!"

Did I mention I love camping?

Anyway, I went to bed for some much needed rest and I slept. Until 6:30am when Joe's iHome awoke me from the most amazing dream ever (so annoying) and Joe barks "Hit the snooze".

See, Joe gets up (and goes to bed) before me, and I like... no I NEED... my morning sleep. It's my best sleep. It's my - if I don't get it you don't want to be around me - sleep.

Now, usually I don't even wake up to Joe's alarm. Usually I'm a pretty heavy sleeper and Joe just reaches over me and presses the damn snooze button himself.

Probably since I was having such an amazing dream God awoke me to punish me for making fun of that girl who pooped her pants in my second grade class.

Anyway, so I pressed the snooze button... and tried to get back to the part where Bondi and I were running off into the sunset to frolic with sparkle unicorns and rainbow butterflies....

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP* 6:37AM

I rolled over and looked at Joe, waiting for him to, oh I dunno, shut the goddamn alarm off.

Mother-pooper's still asleep!!!

Well this morning, Joe snoozed his alarm from 6:30AM until the time he actually got out of bed at some point over an hour later!! And by Joe I mean me because I am the one who actually had to reach over every time and press the damn snooze button. Because Joe was ignoring me!!! Despite the fact that I was screaming and bitching and carrying on (no I'm not proud, just honest) every time the alarm woke me up. 14 times.

I am one of those people who, when upset, needs to be Heard. Validated. Acknowledged. Pacified. All I got was a few annoyed grumbles and that WOULD.NOT.DO.

So I did what any crazed, sleep-deprived, PMSing normal girl would do. I unplugged the alarm and chucked it across the bed at Joe. Oh yes I did. And I said that alarm would be on his side of the bed from now on. "GaarrRRR!!"

So what did Joe do? He calmly plugged the iHome back in... got out of bed and said "You are out of control."

Finally... victory!!! Joe is up and getting ready and I get to go back to bed!!!!

And then do you know what happened? 7 minutes later, like clockwork, the piece of shit went off again.

Tell me is this iHome like super human? I unplugged it!!! Don't you have to reset it or something?

So from bed I gave my best... "GaaarrrRRRRRRR!!!"

Yes, I ROARED.


Speaking of, I am thinking I need to beware of Bears this weekend... something Brick said in Anchorman.

Wishful Wednesday - Dream Room (i'm biased)

It's time for Wishful Wednesday, courtesy of my IRL lovely friend Miss Kelsey.

'I wish' I could come home to...

this bedroom each and every night!

I LOVE the bamboo construction and funky low profiles. Just my style :-) I would want it with different (maybe Bamboo?) floors and a shaggy white carpet...

I'd have to throw in this "Chiffonier" ... I just learned this word a few months ago and basically refers to really tall dressers like the one above. It would be PERFECT for all my little clothes.. not like pre-college weight, but you know.. socks in top drawer, then undies, then bras, then bikinis, etc. etc.

Okay, okay. Full disclosure: I'm a little biased.

I helped design this furniture!!! 

Yup, our family company makes this bedroom collection and we sell it on Costco.com here.

Plus, I helped develop the flash product demo for it... check it out, but just warning the music get's really annoying. I take responsibility for ensuring the inclusion of a MUTE button :-)

It's my most favorite bedroom collection we sell, and I would totally have it in our little house, if our bedroom was just a teensy bit bigger. Because of the low profile overhangs (which I love) the bed takes up quite a bit of space... maybe in our next house!

Of course, to complete the dream bedroom, the window in the picture would need to look out upon this view, and not the fake skyline we painted for our furniture showroom :-)

 image source.

To play along with Wishful Wednesday next week, head over to Miss Kelsey's blog The Seattle Smith's!

homies where the heart is!

I know, I know... you have all been wondering if I was run over a truck. I did spend a week in Las Vegas, which is a close equivalent, but alas, I AM ALIVE!

The real reason I have been so MIA is....

.................. I'm a new mommy!

Not THAT kind of mommy, but a mommy to this little guy:

 Friends, meet HOMIE.

I apologize in advance, all these pictures are gonna kinda suck because I can't find my camera at the moment. That's another story (which incidentally has nothing to do with Vegas, shocker!)

Anywhoodles, we weren't exactly looking for a new puppy, but we had talked about it. Remember, that's why we moved! From Feb 18:

Background Info: Our apartment lease is up in a couple weeks, so Joe and I have been looking for a house to move to... with a yard... so we can get Mr. Bondi a little brother/sister that Joe will insist on naming "Homie"... which I think is the worst name for a dog ever, but I digress. 

Well, we waited a good 2 months so I say that's responsible.

What happened is about two weeks ago  I insisted we decided to go to Tuxes and Tails, a big charity auction put on by the Seattle Humane Society.

I wore a snazzy dress and Joe looked quite handsome and we mingled with a bunch of well-to-do Seattleites. There was delicious food and champagne.. and wine.. you get the idea.

Then once they get you all good and liquored, they start parading around with all the adoptable dogs. Ingenious. (The thing about this event is you can put a "hold" on any one dog you see and you have until noon the next day to adopt him/her. This is a huge factor in why I finagled us into going, because it is almost impossible to get a puppy from the pound otherwise.) Anyway, at some point in the evening we saw "Thunder":

I was in love!

We put a hold on him and drug our asses to the shelter bright and early Sunday morning and adopted little "Thunder" who Joe lovingly renamed "Homie" ... Now I do not take credit for this name (though I do have to admit it's grown on me) and I let Joe go with it because:

(a) He's always wanted a "Homie"
(b) He's paying the vet bills
(c) I get dibs on naming our first non-furry child

Bondi did not take to Homie very well. Bondi is a VERY only child and the first couple days were rough for him. More rough than the time he hid in the bathtub, aka Bondi's Terrible Tuesday. The sad part is little H wants nothing more than to follow B around, nuzzle up with him, and be just like him.

Riding in the car goes like this: Bondi sits in the front, as usual. Homie whines to come sit in the front. I help him up. Bondi abandons co-pilot seat with an audible groan and goes to the back. Homie whines to go sit in the back with Bondi. REPEAT.

You can see Bondi's totally annoyed in these pictures:

In the past few days, things have notably improved (probably now that Bondi realizes he's not being replaced). Here are some of Bondi's more tolerant moments:

Anyway, I know this is excessive sharing, but here are some of my favorite shots of Mister Homie (who, not to brag, but has only had 4 accidents in over 2 weeks and already knows SIT and COME)...

Besides the fact that we're totally in love with him, we love how perfect a fit he's going to be for our furry family. Can't you tell how much Homie looks up to Bondi?

Someday, Homie. Someday!

on rugby boys and anorexia

Last night my friend Ash propositioned me with accompanying her to the Eastside Rugby player auction. Yes, you read that right... they actually were auctioning off players for "labor or lust" at FADO in seattle. Beefy hot boys, drinkies and prizes?? Twist my arm!

We walk in to see all these rugby players dressed up... some in tuxes, others in chaps! We grab one of the auction preview booklets and read up on how it works...

If you "win" the auction, you get "roughly 4 hours of their time"... Some suggestions they give:

• Help moving or yard work
• Designated driver for evening
• "Arm Candy" for an event
• You have no friends

So I thought that maybe I could get one of these MEN to help out with some of our new house's "issues" ...

SO I promptly texted Joe:

Me: Babe I'm at the lust and labor party... I'm gonna buy a rugby player :)
Joe: WHAT? NO ur not. I'll be right there...
Me: No baby he's gonna do labor... Remove the raccoons from the roof.. in his undies!!
Joe: Hope he has a job cause he's going to need to help you pay rent

Hmmphff. And I thought that was such a brilliant idea!

We got finagled into buying raffle tickets. $5 for an arm's length!! I must have really long arms because I WON!!!! Not once, not twice, but three times... "a ladyyyyy"

First time up I won a set of 6 wine glasses! SCORE... because Bondi is always breaking 'em when he's had too many. (Joe is always blaming the dog for his stinkies, so I figured.. ehem, well anyway...)

Second time up I won a bottle of wine with a bird on it. Seriously, that's what they called it. Whatevvs, I'll take it :-)

Third time up I'm feeling a little guilty that I keep winning?? Okay, I'm over it. Give me that Jameson shirt!!

Somewhere in the midst of all this, the rugby team auctions off this stick figure girl named "Ciara". I kid you not she was 5'9" and not a pound over 95. She was like Olsen twin intervention * Someone get this girl a cheeseburger * a bear hug'll break her * kind of skinny. And I am not just saying this because I'm one of those girls who hates on skinny girls. Legit, this girl had the fuzz growing on her arms... just sayin'...  NOT.SEXY.  


Apparently I was not the only person who felt this way, because they couldn't get the bidding above $45. Seriously... way to bruise the anorexic chick's ego.. she's probably not going to eat for a week now!

Ciara promptly disappeared off stage and I went to potty. I sit down to tinkle (damn, and I was so close to another post without mentioning pee/poo) and notice the girl next to me is quite an explosive pee-er (peer?). Like... PSSHH - PSSSSSSH... or maybe she has really bad diarrhea? (Eeew I hate that word). Don't judge me but I peeked under the stall and what did I see?? Oh yes, miss The chick's distinctive heels facing the toilet. She's anorexic AND a puker. Lovely.

The next couple minutes were followed by gagging sounds and more pukeyy noises. She was definitely making herself throw up. How do I know this??

1. It was only about 7pm - too early to be drunk and involuntarily puking... on a weeknight anyway
2. I went to DUKE.  Bulimia is to Duke as Herpes is to ASU.  Actually, that's not even accurate... only 1 in 4 peeps have STDs at ASU... the whole eating disorder thing is much more prominent than that at good ol' Duke. No joke. And this is a whole other post, but I digress..

Anywho, I felt a little awkward and debated waiting until she was finished to "confront" her. How would that go? Maybe give her a reference for a psychiatrist? But that didn't play out in my head so well...

She was taking her time in the stall (presumably waiting until I left) so I blurted out "You are wayyy to skinny to be making yourself throw up" and waited a few seconds... *Silence* So I walked out.

Now that I think about it, that didn't come out so right... like, if you weren't so skinny it would be just fine to make yourself puke? And this girl probably thinks she's a lardo. So ipso facto (or ergo facto? whatever...) she definitely can justify it all in her peach fuzz covered effed up little head.

Next time I think I'll just keep my mouth shut, and my eyes on the beefy hot rugby players and raffle ticket numbers prize.

UPDATE: Just to clarify, since some of you asked... Ciara was NOT a rugby player... (DUH!) She was one of the girls they auctioned off as 'lust' not labor..

wish i could give all my moola to sarvey!

Disclaimer: If you don't like wild animals or are a fan of Sarah Palin, you probably won't like this post. Actually, you probably won't like me either. Just saying...

I haven't played in a long while, but this week Miss Kelsey my amazing IRL friend who does her thing over at The Seattle Smiths used *my* idea for Wishful Wednesday.. so even though I'm a day late and a dollar short, here goes:

 

"I Wish" I had never ending funds 
to donate to Sarvey Wildlife

Sarvey Wildlife is a wildlife rehabilitation center that takes in injured or orphaned wildlife - from starlings to black bears and everything in between - and cares for them in hopes of ultimately being able to release them back into the wild. It is a small non-profit run exclusively on donations and the hard work of volunteers.

All images from www.sarveywildlife.org

I first learned about Sarvey when I was around 10 years old. My family was in a park when a baby Grey-Horned Owl fell out of a tree. It was going to be attacked by dogs so since it clearly couldn't fly, my mom grabbed a towel and scooped it up. Shortly thereafter the mama owl swooped down and put her talons in my mom's back so needless to say we hurried to the car with the big fluffy basketball baby owl. After several phone calls we made our way 90 minutes north to bring the baby to Sarvey. It was spring time and they were so slammed when we got there, a lady begged us all to help with the babies. What did they have us doing, you ask? Oh, just bottle feeding and "pottying" baby raccoons... a never ending supply of baby raccoons. We later learned the baby owl was released several months later in the same park, and well.. that was the beginning.

When I was in highschool I did my senior project up there, working full time as a volunteer "intern" for a month. Sarvey is a very special kind of place where, in just a few hours, you may be cleaning crow shit from a cage one minute, and hiding food for a bobcat the next. One of my most memorable experiences there happened late one night when it was just Sarvey's founder the late Kaye Baxter and me in the clinic. She was hurriedly working to hydrate and remove bullet fragments from a gorgeous golden eagle that had been shot (who does that?) when a baby deer came in that had been hit by a car. It had a huge gash on its head. The golden eagle obviously took priority, but Kaye told me to fix up the deer... Say Whaa?? I didn't even know where to start! Kaye was very calm (or totally out of her rocker!) and told me it was just like sewing a hem. Well nevermind that I didn't (don't) know how to do that either... I gave it my best effort. It was probably the best sewing I've ever done :-) I don't think that baby deer lived, but in that moment I was so... alive! Anywhooo...

Nowadays I don't have much money, but I still make time to go up to Sarvey to volunteer. Last year my brother turned 13 and started bugging me to bring him. The age minimum is 14 but we fudged a little bit on the volunteer form and now brother and I go up pretty much every week!!! He keeps me company on the long drive and is becoming quite the little caretaker! I love spending time with him working up there, and we have had some amazing, some hilarious, and some not so funny experiences.

• Towel drying river otter pups... they are just like puppies, and you haven't lived until you have seen what otter pups do with a towel!!!
• Surprises when "pottying" baby raccoons. I will just say this: PROJECTILE.
• The time I held the hawk while Gabe tube fed it and somehow the food missed the hawk's throat and went directly into my eyeball.... Not fun.
• Chasing the escape artist squirrels all over the clinic.... It's a fun little game!
• Sneaking a peak at the "off limits" black bear cubs... they couldn't see us, so it was ok :-)
• Chopping up frozen rats... not pleasant!
• Bottle feeding wobbly baby deer... precious!

Gabe and a *fat* river otter pup after bathtime

Gabe's first time 'catching' a bald eagle for meds

So if I am MIA from blogging Wednesday evenings, it's because I'm probably being pooped on by a baby raccoon, sorting through frozen rats to feed the raptors, or maybe stitching up a deer's head!

Disclaimer: They are much more professional now than a decade ago, and they would never just be like.. go sew that deer. But truly, it happened!!

If you can't tell, I'm a major animal lover... and like I said I don't have much money, but I do donate (not my time but my beer fund) to a few other awesome charities as well:

Conservation International
World Wildlife Fund
National Resources Defense Council
American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

and my favorite...

Defenders of Wildlife
because Sarah Palin and her aerial wolf hunting can go to Hell makes me want to vomit.

The only downside of these $10 here $20 there donations? They put you on massive mailing lists and now I get junk mail from every NPO from here to Timbuktu... and address labels. I have a lot of address labels :-)

i've been busy: part 2

So in my last hodgepodge post I left you with adventures at Schweitzer, and threw in some V-Day tights cause I knew Miss Summer would approve! Well I have lots more to share, so let's just rewind almost two months to Joe's Birthday Weekend in... you guessed it... Land of the Tater.

He's an Idaho boy through and through, that's for sure. Anywhoodles.. we like to celebrate birthdays (duh, who doesn't?) so we planned a weekend trip that involved festivities at the Coeur d'Alene resort, gallivanting in Sandpoint, and fabulous skiing in Schweitzer.

FRIDAY NIGHT

Joe's folks had a suite at the Coeur d'Alene resort Friday night, so we kinda sorta crashed their party. They loved it though :-)

~a few of us girlies~

~joe's folks and us~

~yup... give me some champagne and i'll give you a handstand~

~channeling my 14 year old gymnast~

~all together now... with the security officer mwahaha~

~take 2: he musta really wanted this pic b/c he asked to be our friend on facebook!~

~the silliness continues. birthday boy channeling his inner ninja, i think~

~obligatory bull statue photo op~

~admittedly aggressive~

~birthday boy in the loo. LOVE this pic! hehe~

SATURDAY

Joe rallied the troops at the butt crack of dawn to head up to Schweitzer for a day of skiing. I am NOT a morning person, especially when I've had too much to drinky (who is?) ... but I am proud to say I kept the bitching to a minimum, since Saturday was Joe's birthday and all. Schweitzer is about a 45 min drive from CDA, and after a ridiculous stop at Burger King with the most inept employees I have ever encountered, we were on our way.  

~bondi and i were in the same boat. yawns all around!!!~

~joe's bud is a 'lifty' at schweitzer.. they like to keep things entertaining~

Somehow I didn't take any more pics on the mountain Saturday, but it was an amazing day of skiing. However, some of our friends made me look like Lindsey Vonn had a hard time keeping up.. and I am not Miss Patience. However, I wouldn't have felt right about inviting them on a "ski trip" and then ditching them, so yeah. That sucked ass was mildly annoying. Anywayy....

SATURDAY NIGHT

We got a little hotel in Sandpoint and enjoyed the pool and hot-tub. Joe's folks came up and met us for dinner, and then we went out on the town. There are approximately two bars in 4 square blocks so we weren't exactly overwhelmed with options. It was a great time though... as we found a lil hole in the wall with SHUFFLEBOARD and Joe and I dominated. Yeah, I'm a big fan of winning.

~view from our $75/night hotel!~

~joe's folks and the birthday boy at dinner~

~shuffleboard!!!~

~more silliness~

~LAST pic of the night... can you tell?~

SUNDAY

On Sunday I insisted that Joe and I rent snowboards so that we wouldn't want to stab ourselves in the face all day waiting for the slowpokes could improve our snowboarding skillz... ya, well that backfired!! I have snowboarded just a handful of times and am okay, mainly cause I can wakeboard, but definitely not great by any standard. Everything was great at first, since we could all stay together without anyone feeling rushed or bored. But there's this whole edge thing on the snowboard that really didn't work out so well after I got a little cocky and started going fast... and yeah, I'm glad I was wearing a helmet because I got a *bad-ass* concussion. As in, I FELL like a slingshot onto my head and that was the last run of the day for me. Good times.

~beautiful day!~

~me and mine, on our boards~

~beer break~

Alright, that's all I got! Happy Tuesday, and check out Miss Kelsey's Wishful Wednesday this week... I may have contributed :-)