fun with phototag.

Since I can't get my shit together to do a real post, I think I'll procrastinate with this fun phototag game I saw at keeping up with kelly & co. I've always been an excellent procrastinator!!

Here are the rules:

1. Open your 1st Photo Folder
2. Scroll to the 10th photo
3. Post the photo (no cheating) and the story behind it
4. Tag 5 or more people

Alright, here's my #10, and even though I look ridiculously amazing... I promise I didn't cheat!!

Here we have Miss Shelby and me in Whistler MLK Weekend 2008.

Aaah, Whistler... Whistler is like Mardi Gras with snow. Hmm, I could go for a Kokanee right meow. But I digress...


Shelby is a bff from highschool. AMAZING. Heart of Gold. More fun than coloring on Adderall.

Incidentally, it is Miss Shelby's 26th Birthday this weekend. As such,  I'm feeling pretty confident that my weekend might be better than yours ;-)

Anywho, in this pic we are clearly having an amazing time. Not sure what we're doing, exactly, but if I had to guess we're at the Dubh Linn Gate, because it's the only place in Whistler that actually requires you to be 21 to come in.


Since MLK Weekend also = UW College weekend for 18 years olds with fake IDs that say they're 19, this Irish Bar is about the only place we can go if we don't wanna see this:

'Nuff  said?

PS - know how I found this pic? I googled "short skirt uggs hot girls" - Google FAIL. But mental pic, if you will. They abound in Whistler MLK Weekend.  

Tall Uggs + Short Skirts + Snow = Cold UW teenyboppers.

Now, I "tag" a few bloggy McBlogsters:

• Ashley at Kiwis and Cocktails
• DSS at Desperately Seeking Seersucker
• Lilly at Country Girl Takes on the City
• Cee at Curiosity
• Kelsey at The Seattle Smiths

See, wasn't that fun? Don't have hurt feelers if you didn't get tagged. You can procrastinate play too! (I did.)

love thy neighbor

Background Info: Our apartment lease is up in a couple weeks, so Joe and I have been looking for a house to move to... with a yard... so we can get Mr. Bondi a little brother/sister that Joe will insist on naming "Homie"... which I think is the worst name for a dog ever, but I digress. 

We just found a place that is dirt cheap - I won't even tell you how cheap cause I don't want to make any Manhattanites cry. And really, it's perfect for us - well, except for the fact that it's really a really old house and has a strange odor, a little bit like what I imagine crack would smell like, and umm... then there's the sex offender neighbor and the stuttering landlord.  

Red flags? No, we'll just work around these little issues. So Say I.  


Friend:  did i hear you and joe signed a place??

me:  not yet

we did FIND a place though

and we are meeting tonight to potentially sign

Friend:  sweetness - where's it at?

me:  need to determine if the neighbor is a level i sex offender or just a sex offender "dabbler"

i'm gonna knock on his door and bring him cookies 
Friend:  and children?

haha sorry bad joke

me:  no seriously, on the king county sex offenders list, the address DIRECTLY next door is listed as sex offender, so i studied the pic and im gonna go knock on the door - check him out.

Friend:  haha creeepy

me:  WELL... the landlord legit said on the phone to me, "there's just the problem of the neighbor. he's a little cranky. But if he gives you any problems, just call us and we'll get a restraining order"

WTF

Friend: uhhhhh

me:  but actually the landlord stutters, ALOT, so it was more like, "we-e-elll thah-ah-rrS ju-ju-just the"

me: So maybe we just have a cranky neighbor and then somewhere close by a sex offender. Probably best if the cranky neighbor is the sex offender, that way we kill two birds with one stone?
Friend:  hahahah

me:  place is right behind kangaroo and kiwi pub..

like 2 blocks from greenlake on 99

it is an OLD house

but has a lot of character

each room has different color walls haha

big basement with space for beer pong, etc.

and if i felt so inclined, i could decorate it really vintagey

Friend: i'm a big fan of old houses - i think they have a lot of character missing from today's housing

me:  yeah.. well theres the problem of no dishwasher but joe fancies himself a handyman and thinks he's  gonna install one :-)

im going to point and laugh.

So here's what I got:

***LOCATION                               

PROS: Easy access to freeway for commuting, 2 blocks from Greenlake, Across the street from my favorite Pho restaurant, stone's throw from one of my favorite pubs, and directly next door to a great pizza place. On second thought, that might be a con.

CONS: Directly next door to a pizza place, "cranky neighbor" that we potentially need to get a restraining order against?, sex offender neighbor possibly (hopefully) same person as cranky neighbor.. But since little kids don't like cranky men, probably he wouldn't have been a very successful sex offender. So probably not. Oh, and if you're thinking he might not have been a 'child molester' sex offender, he was. I saw.. on the creepy and addictive find a sex offender near you site.

***LANDLORD

PROS: Lives over an hour away.

CONS: Has serious speech impediment. Conversations take 3x longer than humanly necessary.   

***HOUSE

PROS: Spacious, new carpets, big rooms, big basement, washer and dryer...

CONS: Smells funny, possibly like crack. Not that I would know. Every room has different color walls. No dishwasher. 

Thoughts??  Besides the obvious, that I have Mad "Paint" Skillz. Have you ever tried to use that program? It is less user-friendly than those grocery store Self Checkouts. I think I'll stick with Photoshop.

earplugs please!

I was watching TV the other night when a Jergens Commercial came on. I thought it was for shampoo but apparently they only make lotion, so obviously the commercial wasn't very effective. I wonder why...? Oh yes!! I was so distracted by the fact that the spokes-model used the word moist about eighteen times.

 *** Thanks to DSS for emailing me this image.***

*** Really, thanks. It made me want to vomit my day. ***

My hair is so moist... my skin is so moist... I love being moist... 

AAAAaaaahhh... EARPLUGS!!!

I HATE the word "moist". It makes the hair on the back of the neck stand up. I shudder even typing it!

Moist is to the English language as Nickelback is to Rock Music.

Like that analogy? No? OK...

Moist is to the English language as cats are to the animal kingdom.
Moist is to the English language as  ice dancing is to the Olympics.
Moist is to the English language as Lilly Pulitzer is to fashion.

Hmm.. okay.. that last one doesn't really "work" so well.. but thought I'd throw it in there.

I would appreciate it if we could just remove this word from the Dictionary (along with queef and pimple.) And also, please fire the Marketing Director at Jergens. Immediately.

K? Thanks.

TMI Thursday: anything but anal

So I've never done this before, and I've had a several bottles glasses of wine, so.. I'm going to partake in TMI THURSDAY!!!

This past weekend, my boy Joe and I took my grandparents out for their xmas present: a trip to the South Pacific at the 5th Avenue Theatre and then Sazerac for dinner.

Background info:

My grandpa is a special sort of 90 something year old. VERY RELIGIOUS. As in, at some point between  sane 70 and now, he became a "Catholic" man who:

   (1) Believes in a church that does not recognize the Pope.

   (2) Participates in a strictly Latin mass that lasts 1+ (painful - I went, once) hours in a church that requires women to wear DOILIES (is that the plural of doily?) on their heads while praying.

   (3) Fears that all of his family is going to HELL if they do not convert to this new (or old? not sure) Catholocism. As in, he recently told my parents (his son and DIL) that their son (my lil bro Gabe) was born out of wedlock because their marriage was never valid in the eyes of his church.. or something.

Good times.

Random Thursday insertion: apparently I use parenthesis alot when I'm drunky~~~

Anyway... so we went to the awesome play The South Pacific, and then this awesome restaurant The Sazerac, and while at dinner,

this

TMI

conversation

happened

OLD RELIGOUS GRANDPA looking back and forth between me and Joe: So what kind of relations do two have?

JOE: omg omg omg wtf omg

ME: practiced at interpretating half deaf grandpa, realizes he said "what kind of RELIGOUS VIEWS do you have" because that's obviously ALL he cares about, whether we're going to Hell or not.

Umm RELIGOUS VIEWS.. what RELIGOUS VIEW DO YOU HAVE??

Joe: ""Relations we have?"

Me: "RELIGIOUS VIEWS"

Joe: Oh, cuz I was gonna say, "EVERYTHING BUT ANAL"

JK

Joe didn't actually say that. But afterwards he told me he was thinking about it. And that's TMI. No??

PS I'm somewhat very meh carrghh how do I use this damn thing??? disappointed in the Quality of this blogpost. Wednesday Trivia Night = WARNING! BAD! DANGER! I am "tipsy" as they say..

PPS Update my Grandma is NOT hard of hearing and she heard the whole thing and new exactly what Joe thought grandpa said and read his face and mine and just started cracking up... one of those laughs that had heads turning :-) Love her.

does anyone read friday posts??

...because my thought is whenever I hit "publish" on a Friday, approximately three people will read it, including my mom. I forgive you, though, if this gets the "Mark as Read" - just sayin...

Anywayyy, I am NOT a morning person. Especially when I find gray hairs. Like this morning. TWO.

Tweezers please!!!

Do you ever run into people in the morning who are all chipper and perky and just feel annoyed?? Well I do, pretty much anytime I encounter one of these so-called "morning peeople" until 11:30am or so...

For example, this morning - after finding said gray hairs - Bondi and I are headed to the car when Miss Apartment Manager (M.A.M) uber-excitedly intercepts us in the foyer. Seriously, she must have had about 12 cups of coffee with happy pills.

M.A.M.: OOoohh, it's KLONDIKE!!!  His coat is soooooo gorgeous!!
Actually his name is Bondi. Whatever.
ME: Grumble.grumble.
M.A.M.: What do you feed him to make him so shiiiiiineeeyyy????
BTDub, at this point she is squealing. And ba-geezus, do you really want me to go into this??
ME: Dog food.

Actually, that's a lie. I just WANTED to say dog food. I actually mumbled a quick response and walked out the door mid-sentence calling "Have a nice day!" as an afterthought. **PHEW**

Anywayyy, it is Friday night and I am at home with Shiraz (yup, that's code for Yellow Tail :-) doing this while Mr. Joe is having "boy time". He just texted me to say he's coming home and I said 'Don't worry about it, I'm blogging' and you know what my silly Blackberry Bold on T-Mobile did?? It CHANGED "blogging" to "logging". The nerve!!!

Seriously? What decade are we in? Do people really use the gerund (oh, yes i did say gerund!) "logging" more than "blogging"? Why thank you, Blackberry, you're so much smarter than me!!!

*WTF* How is "blogging" not in the dictionary of a mobile phone in 2010? C'mon Blackberrry/T-Mobile. Get it together. Be professional.

PS: There are a shit-ton of other words the BB always changes on me while texting, but they're escaping me right meow. Must be el vino :-) Does this happen to you?

love this boy

... even though I bitch about laundry, and often aren't as nice to him as he deserves. He is my person, and my favorite. Just a little about Joe (and me), and a few of the reasons why I am so very lucky to have him in my life:

(1)  We met playing softball on our co-ed team "Smack My Pitch Up!" and, well.. the rest is kinda history. I could tell right away Joe was a good person because he was still fun and supportive even when  I  some girls on the team sucked... He was always carrying the cooler, hitting ground balls to everyone, and generally being a good guy.

* team player, in more ways than one *

(2) He let me teach him how to wakeboard. This was arguably our first "date" (depending on what that even means now a'days....) and he was quite a sport! Didn't even act nervous about me driving the boat...

*spontaneous * fun *

(3) Speaking of driving the boat, he is much better at pulling me wakeboarding than anyone else that comes to mind, and he has skillz, meaning I totally trust he will not run me over and take off a limb. PLUS he looks sexy in a life jacket!! Not an easy feat....

* can handle 350 HP. GRRRrrr *

(4) He is not embarassed when I feel the urge to rock a side ponytail. Very important.

* appreciation of dorky *

(5) If I was lost in the wilderness, I would want Joe around. Not only for the obvious companionship reasons, but also he's quite handy with the whole fire-making, shelter-building, knife-wielding sort of stuff...

* can build a fire *

* resourceful *

(6) Love me, love my dog. And he loves Mr. Bondi.. so much that he would take him out in the middle of the night when there was a foot of snow on the ground when Bondi was sick. That may have been more love for me (and un-love for cranky morning Jenny who hasn't had enough sleep) but regardless.. this one is definitely on my list!

* excellent big spoon, with bondi and me *

(7) Joe is sweet and thoughtful. He likes it when I get "dressed up" and never forgets to tell me so... in orther words... he's a good at giving compliments!!! And PS- it's so easy to take that for granted unless you've been with someone who doesn't do that, and it REALLY sucks. Well, that is not a problem my amazing boyfriend has. SweetHeart. Oh, and I think we clean up well together :-)

* can "vegas" with me - muy importante *

* will wear a suit just so i don't feel over dressed *

Mmmmm.... now I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

That is certainly not all.. but I also certainly need to get some work shit done. Like right meow...

Just thought I'd let y'all know how lucky I am :-)

one more thing...

PS on laundry...

... the whole beauty in *not washing* everything after wearing it just once (besides the obvious benefit of having much less laundry) is that it's actually a sort of an excercise in self-image therapy.

What I mean is, if I washed my jeans every time I wore them, I would constantly feel like I was gaining weight. Every day I would have to go through the whole Jeans Aerobics process of *bend and squat* stand* lunge left* lunge right* repeat.. and on really bad days (I always blame the dryer) insert *lay down * lean back *button *sit-up and hope zipper doesn't break prior to the whole *bend and squat* stand* routine.

Whereas... and here's the lovely part... if I wear my jeans 57 days and counting a few days in a row without washing them, I feel fantastic :-)

I mean, every day is just like "Woww.. I feel GRRrreat, my jeans fit sooo well!!! Must be all that CrossFit..."

image source.

Just sayin...